Simplicity Is a Parenting Virtue, Especially in a Bad Economy

I’m not sure if it’s the economy that has me fondly appreciating the “simple life” or if it's being the parent to a child with autism.

My husband and I have adjusted to the economy and having to reduce our income so we can get our son the therapy he needs. His needs prevent me from working full time. But after a couple of years of this, I really am appreciating keeping things simple.

Life is complicated enough without purposely forgoing the simple things in favor of the extravagant at every opportunity.

I remember birthday parties that were actually at people’s houses. Usually at these parties, the mom or grandma baked the cake herself (unless you were “rich”—then you got a character cake). You played "pin the tail on the donkey," you drank some sugary Hawaiian Punch, the birthday kid opened his presents, and it was fun.

Some people throw parties that are the equivalent of a Hollywood red-carpet bash every year. As long as you outdo the last party you went to, Uppity Mom of O.C. is happy.

I am sure most moms would never admit this, but those huge parties are for the parents, not the kids. If you tell me your kid would not be happy with cake, punch, games and his friends at his home or a park, I have to say that you and your child may be a bit misguided. 

I remember drinking out of the garden hose in the yard in the heat. Imagine Uppity Mom seeing her child drink out of a hose and not a “green” filtered electrolyte enhanced Smartwater. Uppity Mom would implode.

I had a 4-year-old tell me that he only liked bottled water, and my mother-in-law nearly spins herself into the earth when I give my kids water out of the refrigerator door (apparently that is not filtered enough for her). Much to her disbelief, despite refrigerator water, my kids are alive and healthy. And I am still alive and healthy after drinking out of a garden hose in my youth.

I am in no way judging you. If you have the means to provide extravagant parties and play dates for your kids, knock yourself out. My point is that life is complicated enough. Why do some find it necessary to forgo the simple on every occasion?

Maybe I just feel inadequate as a mom because some of you do it differently (not better—just differently) than I do. My son’s valentine cards were cut out of construction paper and scribbled on with crayon, not a candy with a store-bought card wrapped in cellophane with a fancy decorated heart cookie. (I may need to learn time management from some other moms). 

My mom did everything for us when we were little, and our childhood was amazing, but our life was simple, rarely extravagant, and the good times we had and the memories that I cherish are the ones when we were in a family member’s backyard with all of our family together. No bands, no red carpet, no paparazzi, no film crew or gift bag, just a lot of food, love, laughter and togetherness. I learned one of the greatest lessons of parenting from the other moms in my neighborhood: “You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.”

I hear them say it to their kids, and their kids have gratitude and appreciation for everything they get.  There is sometimes a little whining, but I would think it crazy if a child never whined.

I think because of all we have endured the last few years with this stupid economy and how we have adjusted our lifestyle, I truly appreciate and accept the simple and don’t think there is anything wrong with it.  I do believe it is a lesson for all kids to appreciate what we have. Love and laughter are more important than who had the better party.