Cake Or Death?

Eddie Izzard, one of the more intelligent comics today, does this routine about the Church of England that ends with people being offered cake or death. As Mr. Izzard points out, it’s a pretty easy question to answer: cake, please. At least until they run out of cake and then your choice is “or death.”

The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it oil and gas come out. — Rep. Steve Stockman, Texas, March 21, 1913

[Author’s Note: its traditional to indicate political party when quoting a politician, but given the quote…]

There’s been a lot of talk lately as to whether or not the Republican Party should rebrand itself. The answer to that would depend on the “why.” If the goal is to just get more votes, which all the things I’ve read suggest, then the leadership shouldn’t bother. Especially if they are only interested in getting more latino votes, because that is just Racism-Lite. But if the leadership had an awakening of conscience and are as appalled and disgusted as the rest of us by policies that are out of date, flagrantly false, and at odds with historic American values, like equality and fairness, then they should definitely do something.

“Rebooting” just restarts the machine. “Rebranding” is just trying to fool someone with terms like “new and improved;” both can’t possibly be true. No…the Republican Party needs an entirely new and different operating system. They need to ditch Windows and to “think different.”

I feel for my Republican friends. I am watching them go through what I did twenty-five years ago, shortly before the Democratic Party nominated a liberal Republican by the name of Bill Clinton. Since then the Democrats have become the Republicans and the Republicans have become a bunch of tea baggers, racists and the sort of religious nuts England and Europe wisely persecuted all the way to our shores.

My Republican friends are trying not to look as lost as they feel. Some have re-registered as independents. They are facing a couple of generations of “citizens” who can’t command their native language well enough to know what words like “liberal,” “conservative,” “socialist,” “fascist,” and “communist” actually mean. Scary times.

Even if the Republican Leadership had an honest “moment of conscience” the belief in the sanctity of property rights means that economic inequality and social class differences are baked in, and a single bite will reveal that one percent of the people own 40% of the wealth, 50% of the stocks, and 25% of the income; that the bottom 80% of Americans own a measly seven percent of the wealth. Those facts have nothing to do with hard work, motivation, or any of the other garbage the right-wing flings come election times.

Sadly, 18% of Americans believe they are in the top one percent who horde the wealth. I chalk that up to our stellar educational system. Most of the one percent inherited their wealth, they will be taxed at 15% or less, and their children, because of legacy admissions, will go to our country’s best schools and receive a real education regardless of any merit. And should legacy admission not quite cut it…well…Daddy can always buy the school a new library, or something. And if your Daddy can’t do that, then you’re part of the “Deluded 17.”

Meanwhile the average worker in a company, not a janitor, but an accountant, a marketing guy, etc., has to work more than 30 days to make what the CEO makes in an hour. CEO’s make 380 times what their workers make, and real wages haven’t risen since 1973, but CEO’s compensation has tripled. The top one percent has more wealth and income than 92% of Americans thought the top 20% should have, according to a recent Harvard University Study. Our situation of inequality is quickly reaching that of France’s when, according to Rousseau’s Confessions, a “great princess” said of the peasants, “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche.”

There isn’t enough butter and sugar in the world to frost over this type of inequality forever. It’s only a matter of time. Tick tock.