Growing up in the South we had a pet named Smokey. Our Siamese cat wasn't really a cat; she was just trapped in fur. I would dress her up in doll clothes and push her around in the doll stroller. She loved it and she loved me. She loved me so much she would have her kittens in my bed. I hated that.
Every possible chance she could, she would have kitties, lots of kitties. In the 1960’s we would post an ad in the newspaper and they would sell for $35 each. They would all be gone the first day. We didn't have any special papers for them.
When Smokey was 19 years old, she couldn't see and lost her sense of balance. There was nothing humanly possible to do to help her. Smokey gave us so much and actually the money we made on the kitties kept food on our table. After agonizing months of watching her walk into the walls and miss the litter box, my Mom decide to take her to the vet and put her to sleep. My Mom was devastated.
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At the time, my Mom was depressed and didn't cope well for weeks. We didn't get another pet after that. The grief that my Mom experienced following the loss of Smokey was just as painful as the grief following the death of a human being. I remember it being extremely difficult.
Today, there are many pet loss support groups. In fact, a new Pet Loss Support Group meets on the fourth Monday of each month from 12:30 -1:30 pm at the Norman P. Murray Community Center. The group is facilitated by Ellie Freedman, MFT, Pet Loss Partners. It is a safe place for people to describe the events that led to their pets’ death, share memories, ask questions about the grieving process and learn ways to memorialize their pet.
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Attending the group can be a useful step in the grief process by helping people to openly experience the pain. The goal of the group is to help individuals learn how to live with their loss, move forward, not to “get over” the loss or forget about their pet. Instead, the focus is how to use the loving memories to heal your heart.
Each person handles grief differently, every journey is unique. To register for these free sessions, please call 949/470-3062.
