I’m not a violent man by nature. I’m a lazy man.
But there is one thing that makes me want to blow up a municipal parking garage stuffed with baby bunnies: The fact that I’ve had the same song stuck in my head since college.
And, of course, it’s not Bach, Mozart or even something rockin’ like the Goo Goo Dolls (which my spell checker wants to call Goo Dolls)
It’s a dance remix of a song for a video game called Dance Dance Revolution.
The song, Butterfly (Upswing Remix), was created by a group called Smile.dk, and originated in Japan.
Japan, as we all know, is the birthplace of sushi, Godzilla and this song that I STILL CAN’T GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
Sorry, lost it for a second.
Like I said, it’s called Butterfly and it tells the challenges of intrajurisdictional law enforcement when it comes to overseeing global ecological restrictions.
Kidding, it’s about some girl who wants to find a guy she likes.
Also she’s a “little butterfly.”
It’s not a bad song.
But it is a very high-pitched, blinky, seizure-inducing ballad that is best played after you’ve had too many energy drinks and are standing in the living room of a fraternity and are stumble-dancing on a Playstation 2 dance pad.
You can hear the song here, but I actually advise against that because of the chance you'll be lost in the The Song Zone.
The Song Zone is the technical and made-up-by-me term for that place your brain sends you to when you listen to a catchy tune the exact moment before you lose all access to any type of music for a long period of time.
And then your brain plays that catchy song over and over and over and over and over in your head.
A good example would be if you listened to the oldie but goodie Build Me Up Buttercup by the Foundations right before going surfing or getting locked in a padded cell.
And for some reason, the more silly the lyrics, the more likely a song will send you to the Song zone.
So, with that in mind, I leave you with this stunningly silly tune, guaranteed to make me $1 million.
John’s song (add your own techno beat)
I love you more than the moon and the sky
Please tell me you’ll never say goodbye.
I’m a little short of cash this month
Can I borrow your car … wonth?
Does anything rhyme with month? I mean, I love yoouuuuuu!
I think it could work. I just need to learn to sing, play guitar and create a melody so catchy it makes grown men sing uncontrollably, even during bar brawls.
I’m your little butterfly, by the way.
Just in case you forgot.
Give John Crandall a Dollar posts whenever and wonders "why don’t you slide? Yeah, we're gonna let it slide." (Goo Goo Dolls)