Editor's Note: Blogger Shripathi Kamath recalls the last pizza and blogging event for Mission Viejo Patch below. You can learn more about .
There is a small hamlet north of the great city of Mission Viejo. Rustic in parts, it has plenty of eucalyptus trees, nice people, fake lakes, a pretentious motto “remember the past, challenge the future," (also, “heck with the present,”) and novices refer to it as Mission Viejo’s Canada, for the obvious similarities.
Not me. I know of Musick, so I appropriately call it Mission Viejo’s penal colony. Yes Lake Foresters, it be ON, so bring it!
Find out what's happening in Mission Viejowith free, real-time updates from Patch.
In charge of the digital fishwrapper is de Editrix, a lacrosse wielding Aunty Entity of sorts, with whom The Dictator had formed an unholy alliance ahead of the second . But his attempts to further bolster the ranks with Turkish had failed. The was apparently on vacation.
So we had a chance. If Avery was on his A-game, Margot and Tom held their own, we could easily declare “all your base are belong to us” with just a little help. Which reminds me, where was ?
Find out what's happening in Mission Viejowith free, real-time updates from Patch.
Boy did we get it in spades! None other than the rough yet gentle marine, Webb showed up, as did the real marathoning mom of OC (that’s pronounced “Awk”, Lake Foresters) Rebecca, and the soon-to-leave-the-blogger-ranks-and-become-a-real-author Sonia Marsh.
The short story (SPOILER ALERT AHEAD): the Great Rebellion of Patchdate 20120808 failed; The Dictator is still in charge.
[Waits for the soul-sucking sound from the audience to die down]
Yours truly was taken out with a vicious blindside by Avery, who I now realize does not have an A-game, when he cooperated with ev.., er, de Editrix in a long speech about why insulting The Dingo Ate My Baby lady is A Bad Thing. Gee, thanks a lot Avery, I really needed that knife in the back. You know if I needed a homily, I would have Tom build us a balcony at Oggi’s. From which The Dictator could do his Mussolini pantomime on the atrocity that is splitting infinitives, or de Editrix berate us for forgetting the etymological roots of misandry.
Next to fall was the tough marine. All it took was the Dictator taking a few photos with Webb chowing down some forbidden food, and a thinly veiled threat to let Mrs. Webb know of his dietary sins, and he was gone. Of course, he mumbled something interesting about wanting to buy a bar in Nicaragua with only $750 back in his youth. Yes, a pretty tidy sum when you consider when his youth must have been. That is also why B.C. is to be affixed to his date of birth.
Our last chance was Rebecca. She stayed a while, gave us hope against the tyrants (also Avery), but then had to leave. Something about taking her kids swimming, and then rounding her not so busy day with a casual marathon length jog.
Margot had gone to surrender by this point, which was no surprise since she usually starts there. She spent time discussing volunteer work with de Editrix, and just like that the resistance had vanished. They exchanged stories of helping young kids, Joplin, free lacrosse coaching and soon all that was left was the pizza. Brew and second-hand smoke drowned some of our sorrows and the memories of Benedict Avery’s desertion, but the beating the bloggers had taken in such a short while was too much to bear.
Still, there were interesting conversations. Also Godot. Tom shared pictures of some fascinating projects he had worked on (you should check them out, seriously), Sonia her book tour/openings, experiences in Belize, and how she looked forward to lord over the rest of us bloggers in a month, etc. Avery and Webb shared some more yak-milking in subzero Minnesota stories, and Webb dished up dirt from his recent run for office. As he exited, in a visage worthy of Winston Churchill, he promised a rabbit in every pot, free healthcare for everyone and a Keystone pipeline each, but only for citizens of cities that are not penal colonies. Interesting fella, this Webb. A constitutionally authorized search for horns on his cranium by Avery yielded nothing.
Throughout the entire beatdown, there were also the cheery faces of three little angels who visited. Rebecca’s and Angela’s. It is often amazing the patience kids have listening to Avery, and keeping on a brave face. Pizza, sodas and moms do not get enough credit.
So the score thus far is 0-2 bloggers (also, 0-1 Lake Forest). The tide has to turn sometime, and what we need is a bigger boat of bloggers. The next time Turkish will be around and Avery is already on their side, so we need some equalizers. Remember, the food’s free, as are Side Six’s services in getting you started.
I am looking at you Josephine, Pacific Coast Mama, mfriedrich, Brother Pan and any of you itching to jump in and cure society’s ills. Help us take down the Evil Editors Empire.
Verily and forsooth, iacta alea es, banzai, remember the Alamo, [insert your own favorite ululation here], sic semper tyrannis...it must and will be done!