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How to Get Whatever You Want From Your Wife

I want to share three secrets which, when properly executed, which will enable you to gain a magical influence over your wife.

Have any of you men ever wished to possess the ability to get whatever you want from your wife?

Well over the next few minutes, I will uncover for you the principles behind
this amazing, and achievable, ability.

– Talmud -
"A wife is the joy of a man's heart."

I am going to show you how to tap into that joy.

Story of the Divorce Lawyer

A woman goes into a divorce lawyer and says she’d like a divorce--and she states that she would like to take her husband for everything he’s got.

The lawyer says: "OK, here’s the deal…. I want you to go home and treat him like a king for one month. At the end of the month, we’ll spring a divorce on him so
hard, he won’t know what hit him.”

The wife comes back after one month and says that she no longer wishes to divorce her husband. "Why not?" asks the attorney.

“Well, ever since I started treating him like a king, he started treating me like a queen.”

Three Secrets

I want to share three secrets, which, when properly executed, will enable you to gain a magical influence over your wife:

1.  Treat her like a queen and crown her daily.

The way you treat your wife will directly affect the way that she treats you. By holding her in high esteem, she will have the confidence, and example, of how to treat you. I watch so many men talk down to their wives and belittle them as if they are less important than themselves—these are the "dictator jerk" men. I also see men whose wives are belittling them and telling them how to run the show…these are the wimpy men. Women don’t like dictators, and they don’t respect wimps. There is a healthy balance between these two extremes.

Do you let your wife know that she is important to you? Do you let her know how much you appreciate all that she does for you and your family? Do you make her feel like she is the most important person in your life? If not, then you’re not treating her like a Queen. Some physical ways you can treat her like a Queen are to:

  • Put your hands on her face and tell her she is beautiful.

  • When you come home, put your arms around her and tell her you love her.

  • Reach out, take both of her hands, hold them, look into her eyes, and just say nothing.
  • Men, you want to see a new empowerment in your wife’s life? Try treating her like a queen and see what happens.

    2.  Make lots of deposits into her bank account.

    I am not talking about depositing into her financial bank account—although there is something to be said about that, too. I am talking about making deposits into her emotional bank account. Every person has an emotional bank account. This account is where we store all of the emotional things that happen to us. Examples of a deposit include a kind word spoken or a kind gesture performed. On the other hand, rude comments or disrespectful actions actually work as withdrawals from our wives’ emotional bank accounts. Our goal as great husbands should be to make more deposits than withdrawals.

    A quick note: A large enough withdrawal, such as cheating on your spouse, could bankrupt this account. It is also important to point out that deposits must be made from within your wife’s frame of reference—this means that your deposits must be things that she wants or needs. If you are bringing her strawberry shakes every day but she doesn’t like strawberries, then as loving as this may seem, you are not really depositing into her emotional bank account. Everyone has their own love language—this is the language that they speak and know. You need to discover her love language and speak it to her.

    Here are some practical ways of making deposits into your wife’s emotional bank account:

    • Buy the pack of colorful little sticky notes (don’t be cheap and buy or use
      the standard yellow ones) and then write little love notes and stick them
      around for her to find the next day when she wakes up. I have found this
       to be one of the simplest ways to help her conquer the day that lies ahead.

  • Sit down with your wife when you get home and just listen to her. Don’t try to fix her problems, just listen. Don’t let yourself get distracted. Remember
    that she is the most important person in your life—treat her as such. Let
    her know that there is nowhere you would rather be at the moment than
    listening to everything she has to say. Have you ever noticed in the dating
    circles that it’s always the quiet guy that gets the really cute girls?
    There is a reason for this. Women LOVE men who listen to them; it makes
    them feel important. Start listening to your wife every day, take a real
    interest in what she is saying, and watch her respect and desire for you
    grow exponentially.

  • Bring her flowers. As simple as this may sound, it is still so powerful. Women love flowers…especially for no reason. Men, if you messed up in some way, and then brought your wife flowers—you’re still at a net zero! But if you bring her flowers for no reason, and with no expectation—then that’s a real deposit. Why wait? Go buy some today! Do this and watch your
    relationship blossom before your eyes.
  • Hug her often. This can be one of the greatest ways to make an emotional
    deposit…especially if she is lacking affection. Too often as men we get so
    busy trying to build our empire that we forget the one we are trying to
    take care of and build it for. Our wives are women, and women need
    affection…affection with no other expectation other than to make her feel
    loved, respected and appreciated. Start hugging her daily and watch how it will change her into a more complete person.

    3.  Cherish her. Hold her in high esteem. Protect her heart.

    This is the magic that makes everything that you do work. By esteeming her you are letting your wife know that she is truly the most important part of your life. You are communicating that she is indeed more important than yourself. You treat her as she deserves to be treated, you love her as she deserves to be loved, and you treat her as the most important means to a happy life. As it has been said: Happy wife, happy life.

    As it says in I Peter 3:7, “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.”

    How can we men truly understand our wives if we don’t study them? What makes your wife tick? What does she love? What does she hate? What is her love language? What does she need most from you? I frequently hear men commiserating with other men about the lack of understanding they have concerning their wife. I have no respect for a man who after many years of being married hasn’t figured out the least bit of how his wife works. We may never truly understand our wives, but we can always continue to strive and learn. What amazes me is that the same man who is clueless about how his wife works is often the one who has such an intimate knowledge of hunting deer that he wears deer urine to attract them. He can tell you anything about deer. His intimate knowledge of his passion makes him successful in his endeavor. What would happen if he had the same passion for figuring out his wife as he does for figuring out how to attract deer? He would have the most amazing marriage!

    By selflessly putting her needs above your own, she will indeed feel cherished…and this is the final secret that really creates the magic.

    So in conclusion, the three points were:

    1.  Treat her like a Queen and crown her daily
    2.  Make lots of deposits into her emotional bank account
    3.  Cherish her

    These three things, when properly executed, will indeed wield a magical way over your wife and empower her to fulfill every desire of your heart—which at this point will only be to fulfill hers.

    Now go home and serve your Queen!

    This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

    Chris March 17, 2012 at 04:07 AM
    Gents, If you need to do this in order to "Get Whatever You Want From Your Wife", guess what? You probably should have never gotten married in the first place. She's the person you'll hopefully spend the rest of life with and is may be the mother of your children, not a Pavlovian trained dog. To the author - You want to treat your wife like a queen? How about starting your tagline as "Husband, Father" followed by anything else.
    Tom Sheltraw March 17, 2012 at 04:44 AM
    Hi Chris, I'm not sure I understand what you were trying to communicate in your response. This is not a training act to get your wife obeying your every command, rather a concept of empowering your wife's desire to love you. If you notice at the end of the article I stated "These three things, when properly executed, will indeed wield a magical way over your wife and empower her to fulfill every desire of your heart—which at this point will only be to fulfill hers." At the end of all your efforts, your desire should be to fulfill her desires. This is actually a complete shift in thinking from the beginning perception of the article. It starts off with a perceived concept of a narcissistic desire for self gratification, and then ends with a selfless desire to fulfil your wife's needs. As far as my tag line; the only hope I have of being able to treat my wife as the queen she is, would come from my ability to follow Christ...I am hopeless without Him.
    Shripathi Kamath March 17, 2012 at 03:53 PM
    Well said!
    Chris March 18, 2012 at 12:57 AM
    How many people do you socialize with that wear deer urine?
    Tom Sheltraw March 18, 2012 at 02:13 AM
    Fourteen, if you're counting Uncle Billy.
    Greg Burt March 19, 2012 at 04:54 PM
    Don't listen to these guys. The headline was supposed to be provocative to attract readers. I thought this was really good. I'm thinking about getting flowers for my wife today for no reason. Thanks.
    Tom Sheltraw March 19, 2012 at 09:13 PM
    Hi Greg, thanks for the support:-) I'm always happy to be part of the process of encouraging great men to become better.
    Robin Wethe Altman March 20, 2012 at 07:47 AM
    Wow.... I love it! Yeah baby!! A woman treated like that would adore her guy too! I know... I am treated like that and I feel very very lucky!
    Erik Dreyer-Goldman March 20, 2012 at 08:28 PM
    Tom - I'm in your corner on these suggestions. They absolutely work. Happy wife = happy life!
    Tom Sheltraw March 21, 2012 at 11:45 PM
    Hi Robin, I am always encouraged by great relationships! What a great life, when your with someone who really loves you-and treats you as a Queen. I am happy for you:-)
    Tom Sheltraw March 21, 2012 at 11:59 PM
    Hi Erik, Thanks, It's great to be in the company of other men who understand. I think that as husbands, our job of making our wives happy is so much easier when we have a great wife to start with:-)
    JC March 23, 2012 at 04:21 PM
    The title did throw me off at first, but it compelled me to open and read the article. It is in line with the belief of treat others as you want to be treated.
    Bella (Elizabeth) McCloud March 26, 2012 at 06:36 PM
    So true! I love it. And so simple, yet hard! Ahh! The complexities of life. Thanks for the reminder that goes both ways...
    Nancy Thompson March 28, 2012 at 09:06 PM
    as a wife of 38 years I would say Tom you might have used different language to convey your message, it does sound like you are trying to get your wife in line to do whatever you want when all you are really telling folks is to treat her with love and kindness, respect her and listen to her and she will return that back to you
    MFriedrich March 29, 2012 at 02:53 AM
    Summary: "Follow the "Golden Rule"": Treat others as you wish to be treated.
    Tom Sheltraw March 29, 2012 at 04:30 AM
    Hi Bella, your welcome:-) I completely agree...it is so simple, yet so hard at times. I usually find that my pride usually will step in the way of my being the husband I should be to my wife.
    Tom Sheltraw March 29, 2012 at 05:01 AM
    You have stated my purpose completely correct. I am telling men to treat their wives with love and kindness, respecting her at all times as well as listening to her. I realize that the initial concept of how I proposed to do this seems odd. If you tell a man to love and respect his wife, he will probably respond with “I already do." I was appealing to a man's desire to have what he wants--this is the main reason for my approach. A man will only get what he wants when he becomes a selfless individual. I am merely taking a man to his desired destination through a road he thinks he can travel.
    Tom Sheltraw March 29, 2012 at 05:03 AM
    Hi mfriedrich, I Absolutely agree!
    trace mellisa September 05, 2012 at 02:01 PM
    My Name is Mrs Trace, I was married to my husband for 8years and we were both bless with three children, living together as one love, until 2010 when things was no longer the way the was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave him the job. since that day, when i called him, he don’t longer pick up my calls and nothing since to come out good. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the new girl friend till Dr.Magbu cast a spell for me,now is with me and me only.And i am happy with my family if you need his help contact on via email,Reunitingexspell@gmail.com
    Shripathi Kamath September 05, 2012 at 03:50 PM
    If Dr. Magbu resembles http://youtu.be/gN7hJDS26rI, I suggest contacting Mr. Magoo. Or Gandalf. Gandalf is expensive, but he comes highly recommended. He only takes on cases where women go by their first name.
    Tom Sheltraw December 27, 2012 at 03:54 PM
    Although I am the author of this blog post, reading through this today has reminded me of these truths for which I often fall short. Loving your wife is an ongoing action which must be practiced often. If you don't use the skill, you become rusty...and rusty is no good.
    brian luckett March 10, 2013 at 03:15 AM
    I appreatiate the awsome advice I'm a christian ..and we fall short also..thanks tom!..I will put these skills into practice more often . my queen deserves it!
    Tom Sheltraw March 10, 2013 at 03:23 AM
    Hi Brian, Thanks for sharing. Occasionally, I will re-read my posts-I often fall short as well, and need this constant reminder about how to esteem my wife.
    John Cook August 14, 2013 at 04:13 PM
    Hi Tom, I just want to say thanks. I'm going through a rough period with my wife who I do love and you have given me some great advice! Thanks!!
    Tom Sheltraw August 14, 2013 at 05:23 PM
    John, You're welcome:-) Thanks for sharing!
    Frank Silver March 03, 2014 at 04:19 PM
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