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What is Wrong With The Men of Today?

The problem is that most men are not real men anymore; they have become wimps, or dictators. Many men have forgotten one of the greatest secrets to a happy marriage...

As I am sitting here in Starbucks, I noticed a couple in their 50s walk toward the seating area where they have the comfortable chairs. As they approached the chairs, I noticed that there was only one padded, comfortable chair available. I was curious to see what this man would do.

My first thought was of my father and what he would have done. This would be a no brainer for my dad—he would had obviously given the chair to my mom, and either stood by her side until another chair became available, or he would have gotten a wooden hard chair, and sat by her side.

Well, to my surprise, this man sat in the comfortable chair with no thought or concern for his wife. His wife then went to a section where there was an available wooden chair and then carried this chair next to her husband and sat by his side. This man did not regard any of this as odd…or wrong.

What is wrong with the men of today?

Although this man’s demeanor was strong and confident, he lacks the one thing that would actually make him a great leader… a servant’s heart. Men were created to be leaders, not dictators. A woman desires to follow a great man—that is how she was wired. The problem is that most men are not real men anymore; they have become wimps, or dictators. Many men have forgotten that one of the greatest secrets to a happy marriage lies in his ability to serve his wife. You need to treat your wife like a Queen if you want her to treat you like a King. A great woman completes a man, but it is the responsibility of the man to help his wife become that person. A marriage is a team effort, but it is the man’s responsibility to head up that team. Men, whether you like it or not, the health of your marriage is your responsibility. A great marriage begins with you.

Men, it’s time to step up to the plate and start leading our marriage and families—it’s time to become real men.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Dan Avery March 05, 2012 at 11:51 PM
Hi Tom, I think you're are making a presumption that most men don't treat their wives with enough respect. I'd be hard pressed to call that true. Clearly there are men who don't respect women. And clearly there are men who could do a better job of it. And you're absolutely right that we'll never receive true love and respect without first giving it away to others. But I tend to think most people do the best they can at any given time. Men and women. I often judge people far too harshly. It's easy to do. I just sometimes wonder, what with sensationalism and all in the media, if our perceptions of how bad the human condition is isn't completely warped.
Tom Sheltraw March 06, 2012 at 04:35 AM
Hi Dan, Thanks for the input. sensationalism (sɛnˈseɪʃən ə ˌlɪzəm) — n 1. the use of sensational language, etc, to arouse an intense emotional response I would certainly have to agree that this topic does indeed raise a certain level of emotional response. I would not agree with the definition of this topic being over-hyped though. This post was not in any way intended to be a theatrical stunt-- it was intended, however to be a little jolt to men. For the record--I do not feel like all men do not treat their wives with enough respect. I do believe that we can always treat our wives with more respect and love though. I believe that most men think that they do their best—but I believe this to be a cop out. From the little bit that I can sense about you, I would venture to say that you really do love your wife. I would also venture to say that for the most part, you probably do a pretty good job daily of cherishing your wife. If I asked you if you felt you were doing the best that you can, I would guess that you probably would say no. I believe you have a good heart and because of your love for your wife, you would always think that she would deserve better than what you are giving her. Does that in any way mean that you are less than a great husband?—definitely not! What this means is that because of your great love for her, you will always wish to be more.
Tom Sheltraw March 06, 2012 at 04:36 AM
I wanted to state again that this post was in no way meant to serve as a judgment sentence on the man in the story, rather an example and a wakeup call to men to treat their wives with more respect than they are giving them. This was not the first time I have seen a man take the more comfortable path, at the misfortune of his wife. I could at this very moment think of 5 friends of mine that were guilty of this sort of action—and more than a dozen men over the course of this year. It is real easy to do. I have to make a cognitive effort to deny my selfish needs and put my wife’s needs above mine. The standard that I subscribe to is the standard of excellence. I do not subscribe to the concept of meritocracy. The standard that I am addressing in my blog is indeed a high standard, but it is a standard that makes men truly great. I do not respect a man that would let me get away with being less than great to my wife. I will always try to surround myself with men that will encourage me to love my wife as I should…as she deserves to be loved. I know we are on the same page:-) Tom
K March 11, 2012 at 08:40 AM
Women of today want equality when its convenient and to be treated like a woman as well. Get your cake and eat it too. Enough said. Modern feminists are the biggest double standards of todays society.
K March 11, 2012 at 08:44 AM
And yes, my comment wasn't referring to women like Linda above who really follow that principle of equality. Rarely do you see someone like that.


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